Amelia T., former patient
“While I was here, I found the ability to turn around. With awareness, I found a turning point. I saw my broken self still able to smile and I began to understand. With understanding, things have shifted. There are moments of pain, but in the pain, I found myself capable of pushing through.
I’ve let myself care. I’ve let myself love. I found the fight inside that never lets go. I’ve fought so hard. When it feels like I can’t do it for me, I let myself hold on for others. I let myself hold their positive thoughts and words close to my heart, till once again, I can hold on for me. I’ve seen myself make the progress that I never thought I’d make. I see myself, today, in a place I never thought I’d be.
I faced the monster inside recently, I didn’t fight it. I didn’t feed it. I had it sit down and I gave it some tea (Chai of course-it needs a little spice). It’s not about running away. It’s not about denying the feelings inside. It’s not about pushing away the thoughts. For me, it’s about acceptance, acceptance of all parts of me.
I accept that recovery is a unique process. I used to wish that I was further ahead in the process and that got me nowhere, until I let myself be in the moment with my experience. Everyone takes their own path on this road. For me, it has been a long journey. It has been multiple treatments, yet, every time, I learn something. Every time, I make strides, steps, and even slips. This time, I have grown in more ways than I ever thought possible. With the birth of maturity my true self has emerged. At times, I felt stuck in moments, but really, I never am because the world is constantly moving and in flux. During this treatment, I spoke from my reality in groups, rather than the easy connection I have with intellect.
I have never been so accepting, open, and speaking from the heart. I am finally in touch with me, with my heart, and with my intuition. I have many sides. I go up and down. I get scared. I get excited. I can hold many emotions at the same time. Even in the worst of times, I can get through. I can smile in depression. I can engage when I’m distant. I can listen and offer support to others. I am capable. I am worthy. I’m curious. The curiosity keeps me moving and going and exploring and hoping. I deserve connection. I deserve recovery. I deserve life.
This treatment was worth it. I am not failure for coming here. Things do happen for a reason. I couldn’t have come to the place that I’m at without this treatment and without the staff. They helped and added to my experience. They helped me to survive and more so, they helped me to live.”
-Amelia T., former Eating Recovery Center patient
