January 02, 2018

Why We Need ReSOULutions, not Resolutions – Robyn Cruze

robyn cruze eating disorder recovery advocateDid you know that the most common New Year’s resolutions have to do with our bodies?  
At the end of each year, much of the general population declares that they will become healthier, join a gym, eat less “junk food” and lose weight. These will become New Year’s resolutions for many.
Before I sought treatment for an eating disorder, I had the same New Year’s resolutions as everybody else.
Every. Single. Year.
When I got into recovery, I felt like I did not need New Year’s resolutions because I was committed to not dieting in my eating disorder recovery. Back then, it never occurred to me to have a New Year’s resolution outside of my body. Ha! Seriously — never!
Then, the other day, my husband Tim and I were taking our dog for a walk. We were talking about whether I would go back to Los Angeles to see my best friends.
You see, I keep putting this trip off due to a busy work schedule: being a mom, being a wife, being a writer and … you get the point.
“Rob,” Tim said, “you’ve got it inside out.” I thought he was talking about my sweater, so I looked down at it, but it was on the right way. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“You think that by putting all your focus on tending to everything out here—he moved his arms around in an all-encompassing gesture—you will change your insides. But, it’s the other way around,” he said.
He was right.
I realized that I had been putting off my own passion and joy because I’m too busy tending to the outside stuff — you know, all the stuff that grabs us with urgency. It’s easy to fall into this trap believing that if we can just complete all this stuff, then life will feel more in control, freer and joyful.
In that moment, I knew that I was going to have to change the way I was living my life.
After speaking with Tim, I have realized that I put most of my waking attention to what I call the “business of living.” This includes work (a lot of it), my part of the cooking and cleaning for our family, running errands, grocery shopping, doing the laundry, driving the girls around, and more.
Here’s the problem: I very much want to do other, “non-business-y” things that bring me joy and that drive my passion — it’s just that there is always something more to do on my very long “business of living” to-do list.
This year, I’ve decided to bring New Year’s resolutions back into my life, but I’m redesigning them. I’m creating my own version, and I’m calling them New Year’s ReSOULutions.
“When you do things for the soul,
you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ~Rumi
This coming year, I resolve to nourish my SOUL and I’m going to start right now.

Happy New Years, everyone. What’s your New Year’s ReSOULution?
Robyn Cruze is author of Making Peace with Your Plate, a popular speaker, and a National Recovery Advocate and online community manager for Eating Recovery Center

2019 Update: Just a few months after writing this piece, Robyn decided to go after one of our dreams. You can follow Robyn at WIDE WONDER as she shares her latest adventure: inspiring new perspectives on mental health and addiction, reducing stigma, and spreading hope.

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