I am celebrating a huge victory. This is a goal I set for myself over 4 years ago, to make it 28 days straight no binge/purge/laxatives. I have only been successful while in treatment at ERC. While that was a victory, doing it “on the outside” was something I have never been able to do…
It’s AMAZING to be living without obsessing about food, calories, weight, body issues, etc… I have been able to think and focus on things in life that matter. I feel great!!! I have peace. I don’t wait to see how I feel in the morning to determine my day. I can choose to make my day whatever I want no matter what I feel. That is powerful!
I am following my meal plan without obsessing over it. I haven’t cared about counting calories. My body makes it possible for me to do life. That’s what matters to me…
I have purpose. Not because of what I do, but because of who I am. I screw up. We all do. We are perfectly imperfect. But I am enough! I don’t waste time on bulimia. Instead, I’m the mother, the sister and friend, the aunt, the teacher and the person I was meant to be.
I want to thank you for your part in my victory. Stick THAT on the boom wall! BOOM!!! Feel free to share this victory with anyone I left out.
I look forward to seeing you at the alumni days. This is month 1. There are many more to come!
Eating Recovery Center of Washington helped me realize there is life beyond my eating disorder. They reminded me that recovery doesn’t have to be perfect. I work hard every day to maintain recovery. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Eating Recover Center helped my life in so many different ways that I am very fortunate for. If I could pick one thing that Eating Recovery Center taught me, it would definitely be “fearless.” Fearless because they gave me the recovery tools to run after my problems, to catch them, and solve the issue. Instead of bashing my body, blaming myself, and hurting myself with my illness, I am able to celebrate my body with kindness and passion. Thank you, Eating Recovery Center for not only saving my life but, for giving me a full life of gratitude. Thank you!
After ten years of treatment and five prior treatment centers, my hope for recovery from Anorexia was next to nothing. I fought to get my insurance to cover treatment, and my Dr. in Austin, Dr. Tyson, recommended the Eating Recovery Center in Denver. I figured this was my last chance. I would either recover, or I would die.
The Eating Recovery Center literally saved my live. I thought I was there wouldn’t be anything new that I could learn to help me recover, but I was wrong. In my initial meeting with my treatment team , Dr. Weiner focused on what was maintaining my eating disorder, rather than what caused it. This was new to me. He used the metaphor of a fly trapped in a house that kept smacking against a window trying to get out, not realizing that there was an open door. I was that fly that just kept hitting the window. He said their job was to help me find the door and fly through it.
I have never been introduced to Dr. Bishop’s concept of values, which I found key to my recovery. Once I gained self-awareness about my values, I really couldn’t go back to the eating disorder. It simply didn’t serve my values!
Another influential element in this program was learning about my temperament through the TCI. My clinician and Dr. Weiner reviewed it with me and I learned to embrace my “turtle” nature. Suddenly, it made sense to me why I felt so out of place, being a turtle in a “hare’s” world!
A third paramount aspect of the ERC’s curriculum was learning about experiential avoidance. I had always been taught to embrace it and meditate on it! What a concept! Through my faith in my treatment team, I did embrace it, and it slowly diminished. I was stunned.
While I know that recovery is a process, not an event, I finally have hope that I can live a life free from my eating disorder. I can live a values-driven life. I understand myself and my true nature. Ten years of solid treatment and five previous treatment centers, and I now have hope.
I owe my life to all of the staff that invested so much time and energy into making sure that my treatment this time was different than all of the previous ones. With their support, I can truly say that I am well on my way towards recovery. Thank you. I will always hold a special places in my heart for the Eating Recovery Center. Thanks to the incredibly talented, insightful and skilled staff at the Eating Recovery Center, I have been given a gift I had never thought possible: Recovery and Healing.
Eating Recovery Center has given me the tools and skills to live a happy, healthy life. The staff and doctors have inspired me by how caring and supportive they are. I now have the strength and motivation to move forward with my recovery and with my life. Thank you for all caring about me as an individual—you have treated me with love and care and I couldn’t have asked for a better experience.
While I was here, I found the ability to turn around. With awareness, I found a turning point. I saw my broken self still able to smile and I began to understand. With understanding, things have shifted. There are moments of pain, but in the pain, I found myself capable of pushing through.
I’ve let myself care. I’ve let myself love. I found the fight inside that never lets go. I’ve fought so hard. When it feels like I can’t do it for me, I let myself hold on for others. I let myself hold their positive thoughts and words close to my heart, till once again, I can hold on for me. I’ve seen myself make the progress that I never thought I’d make. I see myself, today, in a place I never thought I’d be.
I faced the monster inside recently, I didn’t fight it. I didn’t feed it. I had it sit down and I gave it some tea (Chai of course-it needs a little spice). It’s not about running away. It’s not about denying the feelings inside. It’s not about pushing away the thoughts. For me, it’s about acceptance, acceptance of all parts of me.
I accept that recovery is a unique process. I used to wish that I was further ahead in the process and that got me nowhere, until I let myself be in the moment with my experience. Everyone takes their own path on this road. For me, it has been a long journey. It has been multiple treatments, yet, every time, I learn something. Every time, I make strides, steps, and even slips. This time, I have grown in more ways than I ever thought possible. With the birth of maturity my true self has emerged. At times, I felt stuck in moments, but really, I never am because the world is constantly moving and in flux. During this treatment, I spoke from my reality in groups, rather than the easy connection I have with intellect.
I have never been so accepting, open, and speaking from the heart. I am finally in touch with me, with my heart, and with my intuition. I have many sides. I go up and down. I get scared. I get excited. I can hold many emotions at the same time. Even in the worst of times, I can get through. I can smile in depression. I can engage when I’m distant. I can listen and offer support to others. I am capable. I am worthy. I’m curious. The curiosity keeps me moving and going and exploring and hoping. I deserve connection. I deserve recovery. I deserve life.
This treatment was worth it. I am not a failure for coming here. Things do happen for a reason. I couldn’t have come to the place that I’m at without this treatment and without the staff. They helped and added to my experience. They helped me to survive and more so, they helped me to live.
The Eating Recovery Center absolutely changed my life; I can’t imagine a more appropriate program to give me the tools to combat my eating disorder. For the first time in months I felt connected to the people around me; I felt so safe with all of the other patients and staff, really willing to express myself and solicit feedback. I felt like my team was well-matched with my needs as an individual and I adored my clinician. I also thought the program was creative with its outings, really utilizing the surrounding areas and weather changes well. I also liked the lessons which I thought appealed to all the different aspects of my ED, from my internal thoughts to my external body image, from the psychological to physiological. I learned so much about the traits of the disorder and all of the parts about my character and inner landscape that I had never taken the time to appreciate. I am so grateful for the ERC.
I think there are times in each of our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroads. One of mine came when I entered treatment at ERC. I know that I needed help. I wanted help. I could not longer live the way I was at the time. My eating disorder and other destructive ways were no longer helping me cope with life. They were killing me.
Once I walked through the doors at ERC I know I was in a safe place. I could learn to drop my guard, trust the staff, and face the very hard things that needed to be addressed. I learned to look at things in new ways. The staff taught me how to identify my values and what is dear to me, and how to start reframing my thoughts and actions to become more congruent with those values. During my time at ERC I learned that my emotions are not bad, and can not be ignored. I can experience my emotions and not need to use behaviors to try and turn them off.
I’ve learned that true healing and recovery does not come easily. I’ve also learned that not every day is a great day, and that’s OK. But even my hard days now are not as bad as most of my days before treatment at ERC. I am continuing to work on things in outpatient at ERC, and am in a weekly body image group there. I find that both of these things help keep me recovery focused. Without the intentional follow-up care at ERC I know that recovery would be very difficult.
I’m learning to pursue life with passion, and know that I can orchestrate my life how I want it to be from here on out. I know have choices, and I’m learning how to voice my needs and not let my eating disorder speak for me.
My goal, no longer is just to endure live. I want to enjoy life, embrace it, and truly feel contentment and fulfillment. I truly know that without the compassion and care I received at ERC I wouldn’t be able to have this outlook on life.
The programs, but more importantly, the people at ERC helped me to see that I do indeed deserve to be happy and can be happy. They loved me when I felt unlovable. They cared for me until I could start to care for myself again. They gently but firmly challenged me, and most of all, they had faith in me that I could succeed in this fight. For that I will always be more than grateful.
I arrived at the ERC ten weeks ago today scared, confused and sick. Today I am leaving confident, self-aware and healthy—but also a little sad: I will miss this place and these people. At the ERC I learned that food and body were only a symptom of an internal struggle. As refeeding awakened my mind and emotions, my clinicians gently led me through the process of untangling the web of painful thoughts and feelings that was the source and maintaining factor of my ED. Along the way, I met many amazing and courageous men and women, some of whom will be my lifelong friends, and through their stories I gained a much deeper understanding of the nature of our often-misunderstood disease. My time at the ERC has been a life-changing ride. I has taken a lot of faith in my team (they deserved it!) and a lot of persistence—but it has been worth the effort all the way. I feel like an emotional weight has been lifted and now I can pursue the life I really want to live.
Eating Recovery Center helped me solidify the person that I allowed myself to grow into. I grabbed onto EVERYTHING that I always wanted and it was like touching a hot stone. It burned, but the longer and more tightly I held onto it, it eventually fused with who I am. It became the very warmth inside me.
I have such an immense amount of gratitude towards Eating Recovery Center that cannot be expressed in words. Starting with my first call, Eating Recovery Center made it comfortable for me to reach out for help… I doubt I could be any more grateful for my team. You challenged my ideas and my thoughts that made me think deeper. “I won’t make it to twenty five”, “I don’t have time to take care of myself”, “Medication keeps me from being who I am”. All of [those ideas] were challenged… Nothing in my life will ever be perfect but great progress has been made. I finally don’t have to be sick and am okay with being okay… Thank you.
My journey at Eating Recovery Center was one that I will never forget nor will I take it for granted. Upon admission, I felt hopeless, lost in my personal life, and confused of what to do next. After years of battling anorexia and being in treatment just years before, I didn’t believe in recovery. However, my life was changed for the better in the months that I spent at Eating Recovery Center. I met the most authentic, genuine, and inspiring people. From my treatment team to the other clients that I spent much of my time with, I found a community of people who loved me for who I am rather than judged me for my past. This was a concept that I did not believe in before.
I was challenged and pushed in ways that I didn’t know were possible. It was difficult, but as I reflect back on these moments I realize that I found peace within myself because I was becoming the person I wanted to be. There was never a period of time that I felt uncared for or alone in my fight against this disorder. The women, men, and staff that I met supported me and gave me hope when I didn’t know what to do next with my life. They showed me what care was when I couldn’t take care of myself, and they taught me how to start the self-care process. I was given a chance at life, a chance to live my perfectly imperfect life, and a chance to grow because of this treatment center! And I couldn’t ask for anything more than that gift.
I am impressed and encouraged by Eating Recovery Center. Knowing that I can recommend this facility to my patients and their families with full confidence makes this difficult situation much more tolerable. Thank you for your forward-thinking program based in both knowledge and evidence.