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I was confident, sassy, sexy and untouchable. (Please note that this is an extreme contrast to how I normally felt in my day-to-day life! I was drinking to numb pain.)\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>Drinking, ah, how it helped to drown out my fears. Drinking took away my inhibitions and erased my crippling anxiety. Drinking took care of all the difficult emotions that I held tightly bottled up inside. Once I was tipsy, I felt great. All those emotions — well I didn’t give a damn about them anymore.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>“\u003Cem>Free at last,\u003C\u002Fem>” I’d whisper, as I set all of my uncomfortable feelings free. As someone who struggled for years with anxiety and an eating disorder, boy, did I need to let it all go.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>Inevitably, a few hours later, once the sun had set and I’d consumed an entire bottle of wine — my feelings would come roaring back. And, I’d be sitting there all alone with my feelings again.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>At this point, I would often be overcome with a feeling of neediness. I was consumed with a deep\u003Cem>\u003Cstrong> need to not be alone\u003C\u002Fstrong>\u003C\u002Fem> — a strong desire to fill the void of emptiness that was my constant companion in life. So, I'd do one of the following: 1) drink more or, more likely, 2) binge eat my feelings away until I passed out.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>The next day, I would wake up in a pool of shame and scan my phone, clothes or kitchen for evidence of the damage and self-destruction had caused. \u003Cem>Cringe. \u003C\u002Fem>And I’d wonder\u003Cem>, did everyone else wake up and feel the same self-loathing that I did?\u003C\u002Fem>\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>Using alcohol to numb emotional pain was only making my life worse: affecting my emotional health and affecting my relationship with food.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>\u003Cem>But I thought I needed to drink to feel good. \u003C\u002Fem>It was a conundrum.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>I’m not alone in using alcohol to numb my feelings. If you are reading this, you may have wondered if you are using alcohol — or another substance — to numb your own pain.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>Whether we’re addicted to the behavior of using alcohol or drugs or food (or sex or social media), we can get so used to numbing that, once we give up our use, the thought of sitting with our emotions is just plain scary.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>\u003Cstrong>Drinking to supress feelings, is often the reason we drink, use drugs, or start using eating disorder behaviors in the first place.\u003C\u002Fstrong>\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>Personally, I was switching between my eating disorder and drinking too much because I was trying to obliterate my emotions.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>Once I realized this, I thought, “maybe I’ll just limit the amount of drinks I have; I’ll be able to drink again one day — once I have my eating disorder and other issues under control.\"\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>My efforts to drink moderately were hopeless. Other people could drink and still hold it together, it seemed, so, why couldn’t I? You see, \u003Cem>I really didn’t want to stop drinking.\u003C\u002Fem>\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>The scary truth was becoming clear:\u003Cstrong> continuing to drink after it had caused me so many problems was a sure sign that I needed help.\u003C\u002Fstrong>\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>I spent seven years chronically relapsing between my eating disorder and alcohol abuse. I finally decided that, if I wanted to get recovery once and for all, I was going to have to give up alcohol completely.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>And then, I finally did it. In 2002, I stopped drinking. I put myself in intensive therapy and worked through all of those hard and uncomfortable emotions.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>I am so thankful that I finally got the help that I so desperately needed. It saved my life. And that has made all the difference.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>\u003Cem>Patients suffering from substance use disorder and eating disorders may benefit from completing treatment for each condition in immediate succession or simultaneously. A comprehensive treatment plan that encompasses both conditions helps patients achieve greater long-term recovery.\u003C\u002Fem>\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>\u003Cem>If you or a loved one observe any of the behaviors above, consult Eating Recovery Center, Master’s level clinician for a free consultation and ask about our Addiction Recovery Track. Call 877-700-1925.\u003C\u002Fem>\u003C\u002Fp>",{"id":67,"alt":67,"name":14,"focus":67,"title":67,"source":67,"filename":14,"copyright":67,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2228},{},"Blog","Recovery","Robyn Cruze",[2233],{"name":2231,"created_at":2234,"published_at":2235,"updated_at":2236,"id":2237,"uuid":2238,"content":2239,"slug":2249,"full_slug":2250,"sort_by_date":67,"position":2251,"tag_list":2252,"is_startpage":177,"parent_id":2253,"meta_data":67,"group_id":2254,"first_published_at":2255,"release_id":67,"lang":201,"path":67,"alternates":2256,"default_full_slug":67,"translated_slugs":67,"_stopResolving":35},"2026-03-02T07:28:38.256Z","2026-04-07T14:16:08.422Z","2026-04-07T14:16:08.609Z",150515377200548,"5cf6c26a-a4f5-4d77-90ae-6af9e3f3d734",{"bio":2240,"_uid":2241,"status":2242,"component":2243,"categories":2244,"designation":2245,"featured_image":2246},"\u003Cp>Internationally-recognized author and speaker, Robyn Cruze published Making Peace with Your Plate (Central Recovery Press) with Espra Andrus, LCSW, which will enter its second edition in February 2020. Her work has been featured internationally in media outlets including ABC, Sky News (Aust.), CBS, The Mighty, The Temper and Refinery 29. Robyn is the cofounder of a family mental health awareness initiative, Wide Wonder, that aims to make mental health and addiction recovery an everyday conversation. She also serves as a Director of Advocacy consultant at Eating Recovery Center.\u003C\u002Fp>\u003Cp>A background in TV, film and theatre acting, and a master’s degree in performing arts, Robyn is a sought-after keynote speaker. 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This thoughtful article highlights a situation many caregivers may go through while caring for a child with an eating disorder -- and addresses the complexities of living in a diet-culture and GLP-1-driven society.",[],"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.usatoday.com\u002Fstory\u002Flife\u002Fhealth-wellness\u002F2026\u002F07\u002F27\u002Fchild-parent-eating-disorder-recovery\u002F90997723007\u002F",{"id":2510,"alt":2511,"name":14,"focus":14,"title":14,"source":14,"filename":2512,"copyright":14,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2513,"is_external_url":177},215400775769246,"Beth Ayn Stansfield with daughters posing at the beach","https:\u002F\u002Fa.storyblok.com\u002Ff\u002F286555691919486\u002F441x460\u002F0389a68824\u002Fbeth-ayn-stansfield-daughters.png",{"alt":2511,"title":14,"source":14,"copyright":14},"Read more",{"id":2510,"alt":2511,"name":14,"focus":14,"title":14,"source":14,"filename":2512,"copyright":14,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2516,"is_external_url":177},{"alt":2511,"title":14,"source":14,"copyright":14},"child-parent-eating-disorder-recovery","news\u002Fchild-parent-eating-disorder-recovery",-4900,[],"a551d1fa-fc6c-40a7-b5ba-de204a97bcb8",[],{"name":2524,"created_at":2525,"published_at":2526,"updated_at":2527,"id":2528,"uuid":2529,"content":2530,"slug":2575,"full_slug":2576,"sort_by_date":67,"position":2577,"tag_list":2578,"is_startpage":177,"parent_id":1896,"meta_data":67,"group_id":2579,"first_published_at":2526,"release_id":67,"lang":201,"path":67,"alternates":2580,"default_full_slug":67,"translated_slugs":67},"Parents may not know: Baltimore expert warns AI chatbots can encourage disordered eating","2026-09-01T15:33:29.337Z","2026-09-01T15:38:20.050Z","2026-09-01T15:38:20.062Z",215397209483565,"a7148c77-c3c7-46bd-b0da-98b153f79503",{"_uid":2531,"body":2532,"authors":2560,"excerpt":14,"summary":2562,"component":1878,"categories":2563,"article_type":1914,"external_link":2564,"featured_image":2565,"external_link_text":2514,"listing_thumbnail_image":2572},"54d16e8d-7833-4742-afab-7bfb61cd093e",{"type":62,"attrs":2533,"content":2534},{"backgroundColor":67},[2535,2540,2545,2550,2555],{"type":65,"attrs":2536,"content":2537},{"textAlign":67},[2538],{"text":2539,"type":71},"HUNT VALLEY, Md. — Psychologists are warning parents about a new trend of kids using artificial intelligence chatbots as a \"secret eating disorder coach.\"",{"type":65,"attrs":2541,"content":2542},{"textAlign":67},[2543],{"text":2544,"type":71},"Not only do the chatbots give tips on weight loss, but they may also encourage disordered eating.",{"type":65,"attrs":2546,"content":2547},{"textAlign":67},[2548],{"text":2549,"type":71},"Dr. Kaitlin Slaven, an expert with the Eating Recovery Center in Baltimore, told WBAL-TV 11 News that parents may have no idea it's going on.",{"type":65,"attrs":2551,"content":2552},{"textAlign":67},[2553],{"text":2554,"type":71},"\"These chatbots are equipped with tools to be able to sort of gather information and learn. And so, as somebody is inputting information about 'I'm trying to lose weight,' and the chatbot is saying, 'Good job, you're losing weight.' And so, they start to adapt to what is happening and they start to almost encourage the behavior,\" Slaven explained.",{"type":65,"attrs":2556,"content":2557},{"textAlign":67},[2558],{"text":2559,"type":71},"Slaven advises parents to pay attention to clues.",[2561],"86c19221-c58b-4139-9138-a4cde149c18f","ERC's Dr. Kaitlin Slaven was a featured guest recently on WBAL to share insight about how AI chatbots are impacting eating disorders in kids. In this segment, Dr. Slaven discusses how these problematic chatbots work; what signs caregivers should watch for; and understanding how to access help.",[],"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.wbaltv.com\u002Farticle\u002Fai-chatbots-disordered-eating-baltimore\u002F73172472",{"id":2566,"alt":2567,"name":14,"focus":2568,"title":14,"source":14,"filename":2569,"copyright":14,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2570,"is_external_url":177},215397905808365,"Dr. Kaitlin Slaven was a featured guest recently on WBAL to share insight about how AI chatbots on eating disorders","659x220:660x221","https:\u002F\u002Fa.storyblok.com\u002Ff\u002F286555691919486\u002F900x556\u002Faff736e1fd\u002Fkaitlins-slaven-wbaltv-11-nbc.png",{"alt":2567,"size":2571,"title":14,"source":14,"copyright":14},"900x556",{"id":2566,"alt":2567,"name":14,"focus":2573,"title":14,"source":14,"filename":2569,"copyright":14,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2574,"is_external_url":177},"672x206:673x207",{"alt":2567,"size":2571,"title":14,"source":14,"copyright":14},"ai-chatbots-disordered-eating-baltimore","news\u002Fai-chatbots-disordered-eating-baltimore",-4890,[],"732a7f18-be5e-46bc-a614-40b1b1581381",[],{"name":2582,"created_at":2583,"published_at":2584,"updated_at":2585,"id":2586,"uuid":2587,"content":2588,"slug":2621,"full_slug":2622,"sort_by_date":67,"position":2623,"tag_list":2624,"is_startpage":177,"parent_id":1896,"meta_data":67,"group_id":2625,"first_published_at":2626,"release_id":67,"lang":201,"path":67,"alternates":2627,"default_full_slug":67,"translated_slugs":67},"How Colorado's fitness culture (and the rise of GLP-1s) are fueling eating disorders","2026-07-21T15:48:16.535Z","2026-07-21T17:03:19.688Z","2026-07-21T17:03:19.702Z",200537278646480,"5706d1c2-e959-483d-a367-4cd9303ea539",{"_uid":2589,"body":2590,"authors":2607,"excerpt":14,"summary":2609,"component":1878,"categories":2610,"article_type":1880,"external_link":2611,"featured_image":2612,"external_link_text":1888,"listing_thumbnail_image":2618},"ee1c11df-b5af-40c5-91c2-8155e14bacbe",{"type":62,"content":2591},[2592,2597,2602],{"type":65,"attrs":2593,"content":2594},{"textAlign":67},[2595],{"text":2596,"type":71},"Ads for weight loss medication are everywhere. For the people experiencing or treating eating disorders, it’s “a catastrophic situation.” So says Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, a board-certified psychiatrist specializing in obesity medicine and eating disorders.",{"type":65,"attrs":2598,"content":2599},{"textAlign":67},[2600],{"text":2601,"type":71},"Dr. Wassenaar has seen kids younger than 12 prescribed GLP-1s for weight loss. She’s also seen a rapid rise in patients relapsing, and believes the widespread use of such medication is further contributing to deadly diet culture, a world in which the only acceptable body is a dangerously thin one, and millions of people suffer the long-term side effects.",{"type":65,"attrs":2603,"content":2604},{"textAlign":67},[2605],{"text":2606,"type":71},"Dr. Wassenaar is joined by Olivia, a recent CU grad who is in recovery for an eating disorder. Both women dissect Boulder’s health + fitness culture and the way it contributes to unhealthy behavior.",[2608],"bf9591da-e2df-4843-8fae-035693f7e02e","ERC alum Olivia and ERC Regional Medical Director Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar are featured in this episode of Boulder Valley Frequency as the host examines how Colorado's fitness culture (and the rise of GLP-1s) are fueling eating disorders.",[],"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.boulderfrequency.com\u002F2600535\u002Fepisodes\u002F19461249-how-boulder-s-fitness-culture-and-the-rise-of-glp-1s-are-fueling-eating-disorders",{"id":2613,"alt":2614,"name":14,"focus":2615,"title":14,"source":14,"filename":2616,"copyright":14,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2617,"is_external_url":177},200540914053616,"Teen girls mountain runners","1038x1867:1039x1868","https:\u002F\u002Fa.storyblok.com\u002Ff\u002F286555691919486\u002F2000x3000\u002F52e1d7aff8\u002Fteen-girls-mountain-runners.png",{"alt":2614,"title":14,"source":14,"copyright":14},{"id":2613,"alt":2614,"name":14,"focus":2619,"title":14,"source":14,"filename":2616,"copyright":14,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2620,"is_external_url":177},"1017x1667:1018x1668",{"alt":2614,"title":14,"source":14,"copyright":14},"how-colorado-s-fitness-culture-and-the-rise-of-glp-1s-are-fueling-eating-disorders","news\u002Fhow-colorado-s-fitness-culture-and-the-rise-of-glp-1s-are-fueling-eating-disorders",-4880,[],"c56648a3-02b4-4af3-893d-826c6082b441","2026-07-21T16:36:33.605Z",[],{"name":2629,"created_at":2630,"published_at":2631,"updated_at":2632,"id":2633,"uuid":2634,"content":2635,"slug":2681,"full_slug":2682,"sort_by_date":67,"position":2683,"tag_list":2684,"is_startpage":177,"parent_id":1896,"meta_data":67,"group_id":2685,"first_published_at":2686,"release_id":67,"lang":201,"path":67,"alternates":2687,"default_full_slug":67,"translated_slugs":67},"Letters of Light: MI teen creates eating disorder recovery nonprofit","2026-07-06T21:15:25.437Z","2026-07-06T21:26:34.824Z","2026-07-06T21:26:34.837Z",195309262625814,"32f5b9aa-8ba5-40d8-bd6d-ae52e3562113",{"_uid":2636,"body":2637,"authors":2669,"excerpt":14,"summary":2670,"component":1878,"categories":2671,"article_type":1880,"external_link":2672,"featured_image":2673,"external_link_text":1888,"listing_thumbnail_image":2679},"dea35668-f197-4363-9026-205531a84d83",{"type":62,"content":2638},[2639,2644,2649,2654,2659,2664],{"type":65,"attrs":2640,"content":2641},{"textAlign":67},[2642],{"text":2643,"type":71},"Sophie Perrenoud first needed to get help for herself — and now she’s forging a path to lending others a vital hand in the realm of eating disorder recovery.",{"type":65,"attrs":2645,"content":2646},{"textAlign":67},[2647],{"text":2648,"type":71},"After having a shaky relationship with food beginning in fifth grade, things took a bad turn during the summer between her freshman and sophomore years at Mercer Island High School (MIHS), she said.",{"type":65,"attrs":2650,"content":2651},{"textAlign":67},[2652],{"text":2653,"type":71},"Returning home after soccer conditioning, she barely ate, adding that she wasn’t even eating a meal a day.",{"type":65,"attrs":2655,"content":2656},{"textAlign":67},[2657],{"text":2658,"type":71},"“It really got to the point where I was afraid to take medicine at some point because I was scared of the calories it might contain. I was scared having an extra blueberry because, again, like, calories,” Perrenoud, now 17 and a MIHS rising senior, said on a recent afternoon.",{"type":65,"attrs":2660,"content":2661},{"textAlign":67},[2662],{"text":2663,"type":71},"She added that the food culture in high school becomes worse with other girls also struggling with their body images.",{"type":65,"attrs":2665,"content":2666},{"textAlign":67},[2667],{"text":2668,"type":71},"“I think a really big part of that was my whole life (I’ve) been labeled as skinny. When you go through puberty, your body’s going to go through changes naturally. But for me, I was almost scared that I was going to be losing that part of my identity,” said Perrenoud, noting that her brother first noticed there was something wrong and then she eventually went to the doctor with her concerned mother.",[],"Eating Recovery Center alumna Sophie Perrenoud is featured in this Mercer Island Reporter article as she shares how she turned her recovery journey into an opportunity to give back and educate others about eating disorders through the creation of her non-profit Letters of Light and podcast \"Dear Body, Dear Mind.\"\n",[],"https:\u002F\u002Fwww.mi-reporter.com\u002F2026\u002F07\u002F02\u002Fletters-of-light-mi-teen-creates-eating-disorder-recovery-nonprofit\u002F",{"id":2674,"alt":2675,"name":14,"focus":14,"title":14,"source":2672,"filename":2676,"copyright":2677,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2678,"is_external_url":177},195311399484593,"Mercer Island High School student Sophie Perrenoud hosts her “Dear Body, Dear Mind” podcast. Courtesy photo","https:\u002F\u002Fa.storyblok.com\u002Ff\u002F286555691919486\u002F768x1024\u002F006e285e92\u002Feating-disorders-mir-sophie-perrenoud.png","Courtesy photo",{"alt":2675,"title":14,"source":2672,"copyright":2677},{"id":2674,"alt":2675,"name":14,"focus":14,"title":14,"source":2672,"filename":2676,"copyright":2677,"fieldtype":175,"meta_data":2680,"is_external_url":177},{"alt":2675,"title":14,"source":2672,"copyright":2677},"letters-of-light-mi-teen-creates-eating-disorder-recovery-nonprofit","news\u002Fletters-of-light-mi-teen-creates-eating-disorder-recovery-nonprofit",-4870,[],"979f0001-4251-4ac2-9744-93823655e52f","2026-07-02T07:30:00.000Z",[],[],[],{"age":2691,"cache-control":2291,"connection":2292,"content-encoding":2293,"content-type":2294,"date":2692,"etag":2693,"per-page":2694,"referrer-policy":2297,"sb-be-version":2298,"server":2299,"strict-transport-security":2300,"total":2695,"transfer-encoding":2301,"vary":2302,"via":2696,"x-amz-cf-id":2697,"x-amz-cf-pop":2305,"x-cache":2306,"x-content-type-options":2307,"x-frame-options":2308,"x-permitted-cross-domain-policies":2309,"x-request-id":2698,"x-runtime":2699,"x-xss-protection":1974},"583","Tue, 27 Oct 2026 17:29:34 GMT","W\u002F\"4a9217bd1daed3515073e2a9f31fd807\"","4","476","1.1 b6d3c8159ae3de02f9219eb71093bbe2.cloudfront.net (CloudFront)","jy2z-rdRltDy8b90ZfWRi-YmSQhUVl2Hq5_r8RV-J6KAtmY4Xa8EOg==","3dd392e2-a98d-4c06-a0d8-5ae8f63ca055","0.039822",4,476]